"I'm sorry Dave. I'm dumber than a box of hammers."
So I get this phone call from a guy who says he has this great new technology that can run a live chat during off hours, so no one has to staff the website overnight. I am skeptical. I said I would test it, then get back to him.
Here’s the test: You is really Me.
Jenny Says: Hi there! My name is Jenny and I’m an upsellit customer service agent. Please feel free to choose an option below or ask me any questions about our service and I’ll do my best to answer your questions 🙂You: Is this an artificial intelligence?
Jenny Says: Our Artificial Intelligence-based technology makes use of natural language parsing through an English language regular-expression database built up over the last 7 years. Jenny Says: It’s just another way to say that we try to earn the smart in SmartAgent® 🙂
You: Great, so you are an artificial intelligence, right?
Jenny Says: Our Artificial Intelligence-based technology makes use of natural language parsing through an English language regular-expression database built up over the last 7 years. Jenny Says: It’s just another way to say that we try to earn the smart in SmartAgent® 🙂
You: You just said the same thing. Why?
Jenny Says: I’m sorry I didn’t understand that. Could you rephrase the question?
You: Why are you repeating the same statement over and over again?
Jenny Says: I’m sorry I didn’t understand that. Could you rephrase the question?
You: Why are you so dumb for an artificial intelligence?
Jenny Says: Well everyone is certainly entitled to their opinion. But so you know, my FAQ knowledge database is built up as time goes on and missed lines are corrected. The more people I chat with, the smarter I become!
You: So if you chat with thousands of people, how smart will you get?
Jenny Says: I’m sorry you may have stumped me. Please feel free to fill out our contact form and one of our sales directors will get in touch with you right away.
I send this transcript to the sales guy.
I never heard back.
Respectfully submitted,
Canoelover
P.S. If an artificial intelligence uses text smileys, run the other way screaming.
If that is for real, be afraid. Be very afraid.
That reminds me of the old command line version of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy game.
Here’s a link to an online reproduction
http://www.douglasadams.com/creations/infocomjava.html
It’s real. And lame.