Stop the roller coaster, I want to get off.
Alice took a walkabout yesterday, saw her puppy friend and ran in front of a truck. The injuries: bruised lung and heart (bad), chewed up foot (not horrible). No broken bones. That’s good.
Long story short: she’s out of the woods and is going to be fine. One more night of monitoring at the vet and she’ll be home to us.
I’m not being monitored, and I’m certain she’ll recover before I do. I’m haunted by the possibility that she got out due to my negligence. I’m haunted by the fact that I put off the invisible fencing install. I’m sick that I may be responsible for her pain and suffering.
The good news is that dogs forgive everything. Even if she were aware it might be my fault, she’d forgive me anyway. Dogs are like that. They don’t hold grudges. They accept that you’re not perfect. I guess that’s fair since she spent the first few months at our house peeing right next to the puppy pads.
She has forgiven me. I may take much longer to forgive myself. I’m trying to look in the mirror and see myself as Alice would. That’s the only way I’ll be able to process this and heal my own broken heart, even if it isn’t a myocardial concussion.
The vet bill is going to be huge. Whatever. We didn’t want the credit card paid off anyway.
Sweet dreams, Alice. See you in the morning.
Respectfully submitted,
Canoelover
P.S. Sorry for the downer. I needed to say this to someone.