mucking about in the garage


I’m a little envious of my friends who move every 4-5 years.  There’s an automatic necessity to purge.  After ten years in this house, we’re getting a little accumulative.  I’m reading websites and all that about simplifying your life, etc.  They have two things in common –live in the present, and get rid of all but the stuff that clutters up your life.

 

 

Easier said than done.   For the record, that’s not my garage — there aren’t any boats in it.
  
A few weeks ago I spent a day mucking out the garage.  In keeping with my recent purging behavior (Goodwill loved me last week), I’m tossing a lot of junk into the giant city-issued trash can.  The larger, more valuable stuff that would be of little interest to Goodwill goes on the curb.  It’s often gone in a matter of minutes.  Yesterday an old Workmate was snapped up in 45 minutes, about 25 minutes more than I expected.  An 8-foot section of 3″ PVC pipe took a few hours longer.   I needed 2 feet of it.  The rest has been taking up space.
  
What I really need is this for Wife 1.2’s Corolla.

 

 
My shop (or gear storage or anything) will never look like this:
  

  

I don’t want it to.  The problem is I am Visualman.  If it’s behind a door, in a Rubbermaid, or otherwise hidden it doesn’t exist.  I need to see stuff.  Clear containers help, but they are fragile and crack.
  
I would welcome any feedback from my readership who have ideas, aside from throwing and/or giving away stuff.  Or if you’re borderline OCD and a tad anal, feel free to trade de-cluttering services for canoe or kayak lessons.
  
Respectfully submitted,
  
Canoelover
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whitewater, sorta


Happiness is being dragged through a vacant lot at 25 mph by a 4-Runner in a borrowed whitewater C-1.

Ecstasy is not hitting any trees.

Respectfully submitted,

Canoelover

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i have mono


Not mononucleosis. Monochrome.

I miss film.  I miss the smell of developer.  I miss contact sheets.  I miss working in the dark, a boombox in the background playing classic rock.  I miss stumbling over my feet to change the station when Christopher Cross sings either of his two hits (Sailing and Theme from Arthur for the non-cognoscenti of Christopher’s large canon).

I miss dodging and burning.  I miss cutting out shapes from shoebox cardboard.  I miss the hum of the fan cooling the light in the enlarger.  I miss the snick of the contrast filters sliding in and out of their frames.  I miss the whisper of the paper tray sliding around on the enlarger platen to get the framing right.

I miss giant square negatives.

I miss incredibly toxic chemicals like selenium.  I miss negatives hanging from the floor joists in the basement like very ineffective fly paper. I miss hanging out with Jim while we do all this stuff.  My guess is the chemicals are all expired now since we both moved to digital for the most part.

These images you see are from contact sheets, so they’re not Photoshopped or doctored up.  They’re what we used to start with.  I miss that.  I know that many of my friends are digital and use Photoshop like I used cardboard and my hands to dodge and burn, adjust contrast with a click instead of a snick, and see exactly what you’re getting within seconds.  No test prints, no approximations.

And that is absolutely awesome.  I wish I had your skills, as 90% of what I shoot is still digital.  Maybe 98%.  Either way, let me be most emphatic — digital is the medium, and the skill is still behind the camera.  My friends who were good photographers before digital are still good.  Great ones are still great.

I’m just saying I miss the darkroom.

There is a Nikon F5 at the camera store.  They want $400.  My guess is that I could trade in my N90s and a hundred bucks and get it.  I will wait for Spring, because it will still be there, I’m sure, and it might be cheaper.  The lenses don’t get cheaper, but you can buy a good paperweight and it’ll cost more than some film camera bodies.

I have a nice Canon F1 in the basement.  It’s not getting dusty, but its bag is covered with a light dusting of drywall mud from our recent basement work.  Nice lenses too, but they’re Canon lenses.  Screws vs. bayonets, one of the great divides, like Orthodoxy vs. Reformation. Or Coke vs. Pepsi. Or Ginger vs. Mary Ann.

As for me and my house, Coke (Zero) and Mary Ann, and strange combination of orthodoxy and reformation.  Leave it to me to complicate a dichotomy.

I will shoot more Ilford Delta 400 (but shot at 320) in the coming year.  Not a resolution, just a statement of fact.

Respectfully submitted,

Canoelover

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’twas the week before solstice…


I am descended through my paternal line back to 12th century Wales, and that’s just what I know about.  I’m sure there’s a good 1,000 years of Celtic blood flowing through my veins.

It sure explains a lot.  Although my ancestors converted to some form of Christianity at some point, there is a certain genetic predisposition to love Solstice.  And why shouldn’t I?  Why shouldn’t everyone?  At Solstice, we turn the corner. On Solstice, the day starts at 7:26am and ends at 4:26pm, exactly 9 hours.  At the summer Solstice, the days are 15 hours.  It’s not Alaska, but it feels like it sometimes.

One thing I like about this time of year is that the sun stays low in the sky for a good deal of time each morning.  This gives me a little more time to enjoy sunrise as it takes twice as long as it does in June.  The light is good, and stays low, giving good contrast when everything is white.

I’ve noticed that a lot of granular things in nature behave in much the same way.  If I Photoshopped this picture to make it tan, it could pass for a sand dune.  That’s one thing I like about the natural world; it’s entirely predictable. Weather is totally predictable: we know what will happen in the presence of an occluded front, we just don’t know exactly where.

This is interesting…I pulled out some negatives and scanned the proof sheets.  Couldn’t tell what this was at first glance.  It’s snow on sandstone at Copper Falls State Park a few years ago.  Squint at it and it could be clouds.

But (as is my custom) I digress.

This would be an interesting week to be at Stonehenge, or one of the dozens of neolithic sites around the world.  From Malta, which has a bunch of sites,  to southern Wisconsin, remnants of the Mound Builders culture.  All of these sites have one thing in common: they tell us all when we’ve emerged from darkness into light.

And I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want more light.

Respectfully submitted,

Canoelover

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a blissful happy joyous screen of love


It’s simple logic:

If major snow accumulation, 30 gusting to 40 winds, and below normal temperatures are predicted, it means NOAA will issue a blizzard warning.

If NOAA issues a blizzard warning, it probably means we can’t leave the house by automobile, but might be able to leave by snowshoe.

If we leave the house by snowshoe, it means that we are probably going to the Arboretum.

If we go to the Arboretum by snowshoe, I will be very happy.

Ergo, blizzard warnings make me happy.

Respectfully submitted,

Canoelover

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the font hunt


There are people who call themselves performance artists, social media specialists, internet SEO consultants, and worst of all, self-named wedding photographers.  All you have to do these days to be a wedding photographer is buy a Nikon D3x, set up a website and matching business cards.*  And take pictures at funny angles.  Y’know.  Edgy. And for the record, standing on an apple crate peeing on yourself while reading Das Kapital wearing only a toupée is not performance art; it’s called inebriation.

I think the same is true of font designers.  Designing a good font is a very delicate and tricky business.  Between a great, readable and stylish font and something horrible like Bradley’s Hand there is a great gulf fixed.  Some people attempt to swim the gulf and get this.

Killing Comic Sans, however, is great fun.

The reason I am so anti-bad font right now is that I spent the last few days looking for a font I wanted for our web design and branding.  I was looking for a font that was as close as humanly possible to the routed font the National Park Service uses on those cool signs that instantly take me to the Trailhead of Paradise.

Problem is, there are literally over 150,000 fonts.  My conclusion after hours of staring at the computer, wincing noticeably, is that 145,000 of them should be illegal.  Like these.

Imagine my joy when I found Simpliciter Sans.  I may have even shouted “Eureka” and left from my bath naked and ran through the streets of Syracuse.  Hey, it felt that way after a lot of this:

So…Simpliciter Sans.

I’m tellin’ you…that’s it, and it was worth it, for sure.  A little Photoshop and we made it look like it had been engraved in a slab of cedar and screwed to a post in Yellowstone near a geyser basin, reading:

Take a step back, Junior Ranger.
We hate carting out parboiled corpses.

Respectfully submitted (in Times New Roman),

Canoelover

*If you want to see what real wedding photographers do, go here or  here.  NOT here.

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live from the shack


I’m working in the home office tonight.  It was 22 degrees at the start, 50s within an hour with a wood stove stocked full of rock-hard elm, and now it’s t-shirt warm in here.  Two Colemans give light (and a little carbon monoxide so I cracked the door and a window).  My laptop’s speakers are playing tinny Christmas music that somehow fits my shack.  For the record, Robert Shaw has great Christmas tunes.  My alarm clock is ticking softly.  I like the ticking part; it’s nostalgic.  But the alarm…it has all the charm and subtlety of Glenn Beck on meth.

Dog 2.0 is snoozing at the foot of the bed, luxuriating in the heat and periodically emitting soft dreamy woofs.  And snoring between her little vocalizations.  They’re peaceful sounds, really.  Proof that at least one creature in this world is completely content with life.

Thankfully, she is only emitting woofs.  Dog 2.0’s farts could be captured and used as a biological weapon, but that would definitely violate the Geneva Convention.  She can clear a room faster than a SWAT team.

In the past two hours I have managed to do what would have taken me a full day at the office, with the interruptions, phone calls and “there’s someone upstairs to talk to you named Dave.”  I know a few hundred Daves, like most of them, but there are also millions of Daves I don’t know, and when I think about it, I think my Dave quota has been reached.  No offense, Daves-I-don’t-know.

I think I’ll bank some coals.  This is a good thing.  Wood stove, gas lamps, and a laptop with a big battery.  If I had a beard and someone else were typing this for me, I might mistaken for Amish.  Worse things could be said about me.

Respectfully submitted,

Canoelover

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an edible heirloom


Agnes Farrer (nee’ Strong) was born in Hollow Lane, Kendal, Westmorland, UK on October 3, 1837.  Kendal is an old town, complete with castle and Tudor nobility history. She married Roger Farrer, a farmer from Levens in the parish of Heversham, a few miles south of Kendal.  I have no idea how they met.  Note of interest: Roger’s father, Roger, owned a mill and was a maltster, and his father, also Roger, was a blacksmith.  That explains my blacksmith genes. Other note of interest: Roger’s mother, Mary Stubbs, had a face that only a bulldog’s mother could love.  I have proof.

I do know Roger and Agnes were baptised into the Mormon church in 1846 and emigrated to Utah and settled in Provo, a few blocks south of where my daughter currently lives while attending Brigham Young University.  They had seven children, the fifth of which was my great grandmother, Mary Ettie Farrer, who married Walter Paxman Whitehead, an Englishman from Essex.  They had my grandmother, Edith Agnes, who we all called Barna, a three year-old’s corruption of “Gramma.”

Barna was a fantastic cook.  Not in the “all grandmothers are good cooks” sort of way, but compared to all cooks, period.  She grew up in a family grocery store and was a butcher before she married Grampa.  When she died, Grampa gave me her old Betty Crocker cookbook.  The cookbook was worthless, really, but the little scraps of paper, recipe cards and torn sheets of notebook paper carry a lifetime of collected recipes.

When I was in college I spent a night or two a week at Ray and Barna’s.  When I started courting Wife 1.2, she came with me, and also partook of many “little somethings” Barna threw together.

I copied this recipe more than 30 years ago as a teenager.  I would spend a good deal of time visiting Ray and Barna in Springville, Utah, a long way from my California home.  Their home was a place I loved to visit, and it was where Barna taught me to cook.

Plum pudding is an ancient dessert, going back to the sixteenth century.  It’s not that sweet, as sugar was expensive enough, and the pudding is full of expensive items like raisins, currants, and nuts, not to mention fat in the form of beef suet.   There are no plums in Agnes Strong Farrer’s plum pudding.  And it’s not recognizable as pudding to Yankees.  It’s sort of like the English Horn: it’s neither English, nor is it a horn.

The recipe has sat quietly in the recipe box for decades, until I walked into the local Presby church rummage sale they hold in their basement every few Saturdays.  It’s a good place to pick up fun and cheap stuff, especially old ties, books, kitchen utensils and such.  On that day I saw the plum pudding mold — 50 cents.  When I bought it, the woman at the cash box said she had been wondering what that was for months.  They thought it was a weird bundt pan, but it was way too old to be that.  No one recognized it, or figured it was too much work to make a plum pudding.

The thing about old-school cooking is that you need old-school ingredients.  While beef suet is not rare, it’s not something you grab off the shelf at Trader Joe’s.  I asked the young butcher.  He scratched his head and asked the old butcher, who knew where to find it.  I didn’t follow him back there.  You might be squeamish about using beef fat for a shortening, but it’s better for you than margarine and is pretty much tasteless.

Raisins and currents are easier.

It’s a weird dough…there’s no liquid except for the two eggs, so it’s a big crumbly mess until you work it a bit, and the sugar sucks moisture out of the carrots and potatoes. Then you cram it into the greased mold and keep shoving on it until it’s smooth-ish on top.

Plum puddings aren’t baked, they’re steamed for a long, long time.  In the case of this one, it’s about three hours, so I had to set up a system that would allow for the size of the mold and still have enough room in the bottom of the pot for water.  I set mason jar rings in the bottom and put an inverted perforated pie pan on those rings.  It gave me about an inch or so of room for boiling water.

Next you wrap the pudding up in towels to keep the moisture from condensing on the top of the pudding and making it a gelatinous goo.  One dishcloth did it.  The I filled the tea kettle and put it on, so I could have boiling water to refill the reservoir every 30 minutes or so.  I didn’t want this to run dry.

[Fast forward three hours].

I knew what it was going to look like, mostly, but it had been so long since I saw one come out of the steamer I had forgotten the details.  I’ve been trying to think of the last time I saw this process and the outcome, and I think I was about 11 or 12.  So yeah, a while.

I resisted the desire to pull the pudding before its time, with strong encouragement from Wife 1.2. I set it on the porch and waited until it was warmish.  By flexing the mold slightly I could see it separating…yes.  Sighs of relief.  The idea of taking a chisel to the pudding was undesirable.  But with a cup and then some of chopped beef suet, it has to be a pretty slippery pudding.

And so it was.

It tastes like I remember it.  Without rum, brandy, or whiskey in the house I can’t make the traditional hard sauce, so I’m eating it naked, and it’s still pretty good.  Barna did it with rum; not that abomination that is rum flavoring.  Where she got rum I don’t know, because being the orthodox Mormon lady she was, I’m sure she never set foot in a liquor store.  I’m sure she sent Ray, who was semi-orthodox Mormon; he didn’t drink it, but he had no problem buying it for cooking purposes.  I’m like Grampa…you can’t make rum cake without rum.  Otherwise it’s just plain old cake.

I’m fortunate as I have a lot of family histories and lore;  in pictures and diaries, in stories passed down to me by Ray and Barna.  I’m not sure how many people these days know anything about their great-great-grandparents.  What I know about the lady who brought me this recipe across the Atlantic from Westmoreland is substantial, but will never be enough.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Canoelover

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protopaddles


They’re done.  They’ve been varnished, tested, and sent back to the factory for the CNC machine to work its magic.  Pretty cool how they pull the lines off the models for reproduction.

Excuse the Blackberry-produced photo.

They paddle quite nicely, I think.  Both blades have a slightly narrower bottom, which is nice and quiet going into the water.  The larger paddle has a nice, beefy blade area to give the paddler a good fulcrum; virtually no slippage.  The other narrower blade is a little on the small side for me when it comes to acceleration, but once I took three or four strokes it worked just fine, and I like the weight a lot…I took a fair amount of wood off where it wasn’t needed for strength.

The big one needs a little more work on the top grip, but I can do that on the pre-production paddle and see how it feels then.  On the small one, I think I nailed it.

Now we see what the computer makes of them.  I can’t wait to see how symmetrical they are.  And I can’t wait to see the first pre-production models for final tweaking.

Respectfully submitted,

Canoelover

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box + milk-house heater = paddle varnish dryer


When the weather is too cold for varnish to cure within the lifespan of a small mammal, it’s tough.  Varnishing is strictly verboten in the basement since I did a pair of snowshoes down there and it took a week for the varnish odor to dissipate.  But I really want to get on the water and test these new paddle prototypes I just finished, so I made do.

In this case, I made do with an old bicycle box, an ancient milk-house heater* and a pair of kitchen shears to make holes in the cardboard.

No, I am not worried about the fire danger.

Yes, I have a fire extinguisher very handy, and yes, I have homeowner’s insurance.

With an approximate cure time of two hours, I’ll get two coats on the paddles before the testing tonight.

Respectfully submitted,

Canoelover

*I love milk-house heaters.  Their rattling hum reminds me of heating the back of my truck so Ian could sleep in it as a kid.  But that’s another day and another post.

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