Canoelover’s Cocoa Recipe


  1. 2 c. milk.  Our family prefers Sassy Cow Creamery Skim.
  2. 3/4 c. cocoa powder.  Trust me on this.
  3. 1 Tbsp. sugar
  4. 1/2 tsp. Penzey’s Chili Powder 3000.
Heat milk, whisk in the cocoa.  It will look more like thin pudding than hot cocoa.  This is good.  Add sugar and chili powder. Serve in a Rutabaga Mug.

Serves 4.  Or one copywriter with a project due and an empty head.
My delicate constitution is hypersensitive to caffeine because I don’t indulge often and I don’t drink coffee, black tea, or Red Bull.  After a full batch of this I was shaking like an old laundromat washing machine with one short foot and a full load of sheets that are unbalanced and heading into the spin cycle.  Had lunch with my buddy David and he later found out I had slammed a four shots of chocolate tar and he exclaimed, “That explains a lot.”  I guess I was wiggly.
Enjoy in moderation,
   Canoelover
P.S.  Astute observers will notice the hideous wallpaper in the first photo.  Circa 1962.  We’re the second owners of a 60 year-old house, and the kitchen is the last to be done.  I’m estimating $20-30K.

Non-astute observers will now notice the hideous wallpaper because I pointed it out.  Awesome.
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In Praise of Flatness


Sunflowers, somewhere in South Dakota.

I grew up in the West and spent a lot of time in California and Utah, where mountains are what it’s all about.  You climb them, look at them, and generally, everyone assumes that beauty is all

 about how big or tall something is.

As much as I enjoy the mountains, I have to admit a bias for smaller vistas.  I’m not sure how to explain it biologically or psychologically, but I do think that some people have a predilection for certain landscapes.  Stick a !Kung on a beautiful mountain top and he’s likely to scream and hug the ground.

I believe my genetics are predisposed to like flat, or at least gently rolling.  Grandeur is in the mind if not the eye of the beholder.  My grandeur is smaller and more intimate.

I’ve spent a decent amount of time driving around south-central and south-western Wisconsin these past few weeks.  To be honest, it has been hard to take the highways, and despite the extra time, I’ve stayed on County Roads most of the time.  They’re usually lettered and though that’s somewhat boring, it’s eminently practical.  Practicality is a midwestern virtue, ranked right up there with being steady, the nicest thing you can say about a man or a woman.
What I have discovered is that somewhere in my brain there is a nerve cluster, a ganglion if you will, that is activated when I spend time in the Driftless Area, the part of Wisconsin that was not glaciated.  It speaks to me, and the fact that there are more cows than people in this part of the state probably doesn’t hurt either.
I guess my point is that everywhere has beauty.  Deserts or rain forests, coulees or canyons, it’s all good.  It just takes opening your eyes a bit, and more importantly, opening your mind a little bit too.
Respectfully submitted,
 
   Canoelover
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Snailing, the Sport of Kings



Falconry?  No way.  I prefer snailing.

Why?
  1. Snails do not have sharp talons.  No glove is needed.   Snails also leave a mucus behind that acts as a waterproof coating, saving me the trouble of using waterproofing restorer.
  2. Falconry is all about show.  Hoods and jesses, regal Accipters preening their lustrous feathers on the arm of some vassal.  All for what…a mangled rabbit?  Seems like a lot of pomp and circumstance for a piece of roadkill.
  3. This is overlooked quite often:  snails do not kill things.  This saves you the trouble of gutting and skinning your roadkill and cooking it, picking pieces grass and dirt out of it because your raptor hit the rabbit so hard it went back in time.
Okay, there’s one downside.  You can’t go snailing at an SCA convention.  Snails are not really authentic for the period in question.
But all in all, snailing works for me.  I go out for a snailing session, see lots of cool birds and rodents, and after attempting to launch my snail at a quarry, I remember, “Oh, that’s right.  Snails don’t actually kill anything.  How silly of me.”  Then I stop at the grocery store and buy a rotisserie chicken.
So let’s add it up.  Thanks to a handy list at Mike’s Falconry, I learned that hawk food costs between a buck and three bucks a day.  Hawk mews (essentially a birdhouse) can cost $250.00 to $1,500.00.  Add basic falconry gear ($300-$500) plus a permit from the DNR, and you can see that falconry is going to require a lot of rabbits to make the numbers work for a decent ROI.
Conservatively, let’s say it costs $2,000 to get started and feed a falcon for a year.
That’s a rotisserie chicken a day for a year.
Snailing Costs:  A small box to bring home your snail.  Free at the drug store.  Snail housing: aquarium with a crack in it that the people across the street left on the curb.  Free.  You can see where we’re going here.
Granted, it might not be as exciting as falconry, but I think snailing is a good thing that will catch on.  Before you laugh, consider what other sports started small and tapered off, like wallyball or curling or cat juggling, for example.
Excuse me, I need to go feed my snail some of the neighbor’s salad mix.
Irrespectfully submitted after a long, tough day,
     Canoelover
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Happy Memorial Day


Thanks, veterans (and active duty folks).  It’s a tough time to be a soldier.  Hope you’ll be home with your husbands and wives, parents, sisters, brothers, girlfriends and boyfriends this time next year.  To the thousands of you in VA Hospitals, call Joe Morini at Team River Runner.  This is for you.

Going paddling on the Wisconsin River today.  Probably a traffic jam, but we’ll see if we can sneak in a section with a low DPIAIT* Factor.
  Respectfully submitted,
        Canoelover
* Drunk person in an inner tube.
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More Product Development and Testing


Took a short (2 hour) paddle this morning on the Sugar River.  Bill Kueper, VP from Wenonah Canoe, was down for an overnight visit.  We solved all the world’s problems.  But since the world won’t listen to us, we settled for tweaking boat mixes for a few hours.  Bill hadn’t used a traditional paddle much (he’s more of a carbon-fiber dude) so he was spending a lot of time experimenting with it.

You can totally tell he’s a scientist (Dr. Kueper was a 3M chemist before he came to work in the outdoor industry).  Bill is wicked smart, but unlike some wicked smart people he’s not arrogant and extremely interested in what works.  Not what is right, not what is true, but what works.
I agree with Bill.  When it comes to Sporting Goods, let’s reserve the ideas of Right and Truth for the theologists.  When it comes to canoes, there are no Rights and Truths, just acceptable compromises.

Jon accompanied us in his Argosy.  Sweet.

Today is one of those days where my entire life is a tax deduction.
  Respectfully submitted,
               Canoelover
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Product Testing on Badfish Creek


A lot of people tell me I have the perfect job.
This could be offensive to me if I felt the person saying that had a clue as to what my job really entails.  Truth is, a lot of the time what I do for work is what everyone else does for work too—the basics of running a business.  Opening and sorting bills (a lot of them), being creative on demand (exhausting), dealing with HR issues (luckily I have a fairly low-maintenance staff), and planning what is coming down the road to make sure we’re on target to get stuff done.
I write orders for stuff we’re out of.  I clean off my desk and answer voicemails.  I tell 5-8 people a week I’m not interested in “sponsoring” their “expedition” to raise “awareness” for “[insert a specific disease here].”  N.B.: If you want to receive sponsorship, write a proposal and show you’ve done your homework.  99% of people do not do this.  Otherwise, expect to pay for your own vacation.
What I love about my industry is that the people, irrespective of whether or not I carry their product, are really good, smart, interesting people.  Example: Marty Cronin of  Jackson Kayak.  We are not a Jackson Kayak dealer (yet), but Marty spent a good day and a half with me, and we did some product testing.  The product testing is the thing I like most, besides the people.
We took a few boats, the new Allwater series, designed for both flat and moving water.  They performed quite admirably, and Marty was able to get a few pictures, the first of this boat in conditions for which it was designed.

So Marty got some good pictures (I think he did).  I got a little sun.  I paddled a good boat, and I strengthened a friendship.  I’d call that a good day.  Not a perfect day, but I like to save a degree of freedom just in case a perfect day does come along.

Respectfully submitted,
    Canoelover

P.S.  No, I don’t know why it’s called that. Maybe the redhorse that are so prevalent are not considered goodfish. Maybe someone got skunked on a day they played hooky from work.  Whatever the reason behind the name, the Badfish is a sweet little creek.  If you know how to make your boat go where you want it to go in pushy water, I highly recommend it.
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My brain cloud


Wordle: My brain cloud

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Testing the Kelly Kettle



Sometimes there appears a piece of kit that is so simple and ingenius you wonder why no one else thought of it before.  This is such a piece of kit.

Kelly Kettles were invented by Irish fishermen so they could have a cuppa tea, using just a few
 tufts of grass and a few pieces of driftwood.  It’s basically small firepan (that stores in the bottom of the kettle) with a chimney up the center of a small teapot.  The water is in a jacket surrounding the chimney.  Once you start a little fire, you toss a few more sticks in the top of the volcano top.  This is an efficient little system.  I wanted to find out how efficient it really is.
I wanted to use a fuel that would be readily available in a boreal environment where this kettle might be used, so I gathered this small pile of pinecones.  The test was to see how long it would take 2 cups exactly of cold tap water to come to a rolling boil.  

From match to rolling boil was exactly 3 minutes, 15 seconds.  Not bad. Here’s proof.

So basically, this is a Jetboil that runs on sticks and pinecones.  Environmental impact – minimal.  Fossil fuels burned – zero.  Convenience – pretty good, actually.  Am I replacing my stoves?  Nope, but this is a great addition if you want the convenience of hot water for a cup of tea at lunch without dragging out and setting up a stove.
Now to get a wholesale account so I can spread these far and wide in the canoeing community.
Respectfully submitted,
      Canoelover
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A Windows-Down Day


It wasn’t a perfect day.
It wasn’t a perfect day because I want to have someplace to go if something improves.  I can’t find a thing I’d change about this day except to make it slightly longer.
I had a church assignment to speak in a tiny little congregation in Richland Center, Wisconsin.  25 people at our services, and their warmth and love for each other was almost palpable.  When I compare this to Saddleback Church (Inc.)…well, I can’t, really.  Most churches are dot orgs.  Saddleback is a dot com. ‘Nuf said.
Anyway, driving through southwestern Wisconsin is always a treat, and especially on windows-down-30 mph days when you don’t pass tractors or hay wagons.  Hey, why hurry?  You just miss more cool stuff.  Windows down means you smell the sweet scent of barnyards (I think they smell good, your mileage may vary).  You miss the huge lilac bushes planted by farmers a century ago, which hit you in the face with their scent a few moments after passing them, a sort of olfactory whiplash that says “Hey, you missed me!”
The GPS is a treat tool for getting lost because you always know exactly where you are.  This means taking County Road Double O instead of Highway 14.  This means you see horse manure on the road, a sure sign you’re in an Amish enclave.  This means you might see one or two other cars but mostly, you see people standing in fields, mending fences, who actually wave to you as you pass.
So we took backroads there and backroads home, but we detoured to Governor Dodge State Park to take a hike on our favorite trail, the White Pine Trail.  Huge old growth pines, not native to Southern Wisconsin were pushed here by a lobe of a glacier and they decided to stay.  Add to that the riot of wildflowers erupting these days and you’re bound to have a great walk.
I had misplaced my little camera and my big camera was on loan, so I borrowed my son’s little point-and-shoot and it takes decent pictures.  Here are some of the wildflowers we spotted, by no means a complete inventory of what we were privileged to see yesterday.

Wood anenomes (Anenome quinquefolia) are always lovely, but small and easy to overlook.  They look like a strawberry blossom, and can grow in huge patches, but today I just saw solitary flowers.


May Apples (Podophyllum peltatum) are from the same family as some of the more poisonous plants (it’s also locally called Mandrake).  It’s related to purple cohosh, which some indiginous folks used for female troubles.  Apparently some still do.  Nature’s pharmacy, no?

I like Hepatica, but I always seem to miss their extremely ephemeral flowers. The good news is that like Bloodroot (Sanguinaria canadensis), the leaves are as interesting as the flower.  This is Hepatica acutiloba.  Lovely, subtle leaves, no?


Bellwort (Uvularia grandifloria).  Check out that perfoliate leaf.  I love that.  I have no idea what the adaptive quality of having a leaf surround a stem, or to have a stem grow through a leaf (to each his own), but it makes it easy to identify.


Nodding Trillium (Trillium cernuum) are blooming and we found a few solitary plants as well as a large patch.  According to my friend Megan, the north woods trillium are so thick it “looks like a Kleenex factory blew up.”  Trenchant metaphor, sis.


Marsh Marigolds (Caltha palustris) are also called “Cowslips.”  I don’t know the etymology of that.  Maybe cows like ’em.  They’re in the buttercup family (Ranunculaceae)* so they’re technically not marigolds at all.

I saw lots of other cool plants and even a really lovely bird (a Scarlet Tanager, which Eagle Eye spotted sitting on a rotten log).  Good catch, Ian.
It’s amazing to live in a place of such beauty, such diversity, such richness.  Some of you know I grew up in Southern California, which is essentially a desert if it weren’t for sprinklers and irrigation.  Sure, the flora and fauna of So Cal has its beauty…a whole hillside covered with California Golden Poppies is breathtaking.  But the variety, for the most part, isn’t there.  Monocultures are unhealthy at best and ugly at worst.  So coming to Wisconsin 25 years ago was a spiritual thing for me.  Not only is there an embarrassment of riches in the diversity of the plant life, you multiply that diversity by a factor of four, as each season has its differences.  Spring ephemerals are just that…you need to take time to look right now or else you miss it for another year.
The good news: there’s always next year.
Respectfully submitted,
   Canoelover
*I spelled Ranunculaceae without looking. I am justifiably proud of my official botany geek status. 🙂
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The Dump


So I just hauled over 1,000 pounds of bathroom remodel debris to the County Landfill (‘dump’ is so 1970s).  It smelled like a dump.  Usually does.

The one thing that made it cool … a truck pulled in next to me with a grandfather, the bed full of old crappy furniture. In the passenger seat was a tow-headed kid, about four years old, wearing a huge grin and waving to me.
Clearly, this kid was in four year-old heaven, with two huge front end loaders driving over the garbage and scooping it up and moving it around.  He seemed especially fascinated with the loader with the big spikey wheels…crunching a dresser like it was made of balsa wood and leaving nothing but splinters.
The moral of the story?  Take a kid to the dump.  It’ll make their day.
  Smelly but happy,
        Canoelover
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